helping people connect & discover true intimacy

Is Truth Optional?

We live in a world today where most people think truth is optional. I’ve asked this question many times in my counseling office over the years. Most people believe it is not optional but live as if it is.

I hear comments like “It’s okay to not tell the truth to protect someone’s feelings” or “It would be worse if people know the truth”. Many people come in to see me when the primary issues that contributed to a long-time secret come to light and are now causing problems in their lives. For example, an affair committed over time without disclosing it to the other spouse. Incest violation that occurred in a person’s life during childhood and it was kept a secret all these years. Or an over-looked incident of lying or cheating.

Most of these kept secrets have led people to develop some form of double life. They have developed coping mechanisms to protect the lie which keeps them from living a free life in some areas. Fearing the consequences of revealing the truth perpetuate the thinking that truth is optional. Whenever it’s a struggle to be transparent, there cannot be intimacy in marriages or families.

Jesus said, “I am the way the truth and the life.” (John 14:6). Three times in John 14, 15 & 16, Jesus refers to the Holy Spirit as “Spirit of Truth”. So, it is better to tell the truth than to conceal it.

I believe the timing and the method of sharing the truth are important to consider. You may need advice or counsel in preparing to deal with the truth and knowing how and when to share it.

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